It’s been a while since I last posted on this thread, so here’s the next installment finally.

To be frank, while I became more proactive in expanding my network of men this past spring, I was really cautious about online dating. I simply didn’t know what to expect. So, to manage my anxieties about the process, I established some guidelines and principles. After thinking things through carefully, I set out to prove two very specific things to myself that I felt online dating would be the best medium for (hence “the experiment”):

  1. That there are available, intelligent men out there;
  2. That I could attract these kind of men.

Also, I was curious to find out whether faith compatibility would be an issue. Paul (as in the apostle) teaches that it is, so I have generally been keeping on the lookout for men sharing the same faith. BUT, it’s an incredibly limiting criterion. There doesn’t seem to be many available Christian men out there. And although I know firsthand the stress of being brought up by parents with conflicting values, I simply wasn’t sure that I couldn’t handle the consequences of being “yoked” with someone with different beliefs. So, knowing that I wouldn’t seriously get involved with anyone I met online, I decided to cast a wider net rather than be too restrictive. Thus, my only non-negotiable filters were:

  • Male
  • Aged between 31 and 41
  • Live within 75 miles
  • Must not be looking for an intimate encounter

Some other principles I stuck to:

  1. Show, don’t tell. I put my handy-dandy language skills and aesthetics to good use in writing up my profile. Nothing makes for more boring reading than giving people a list of my traits. To start, I tried going that route, but ended up boring myself and not finding my own profile very credible! I figured if a man was able to read in between the lines and found me interesting, then he’s likely to be intelligent.
  2. Post an interesting image. Actually, if you want to get some attention quickly, it works in your favour to post a picture of yourself. But I didn’t because–well, I will be honest here. In some preliminary digging around the database of profiles, I came across some people I knew and I didn’t want to be recognized in turn 😳 . Again, I figured if someone was intrigued enough by my writing and was willing to go along with my level of comfort, then that’s cool.
  3. Simply wait for the fish to bite. I didn’t want to spend a whole of time on the computer, so I generally desisted from initiating contact unless I encountered a profile I really liked.

Sticking to these guidelines proved to be very satisfying and resulted in little repercussion. In my next post on this topic, I will get into greater detail about these “results.”

Advertisements