I’m suffering an unusual amount of internal pain these days, both physically and emotionally. I’ve been sick for about 2 weeks now … can’t seem to rid myself of this persistent cough. Also, I am living through some pretty big changes in my life. My workplace has been Head-less since late April, and the congregation I’m part of has recently become pastor-less. Both of these situations means more work for me which, I suppose, is only a natural consequence of change, and of course, duty calls. But I also sense the spirit of resentment creeping up on me because much of what I am doing these days feels merely like maintenance, rather than working towards a vision. These days, I am unsure of what my life is about, how best to direct my time and energy, and why I do what I do. Somehow, I seem to have lost focus or purpose in my life.

Not a fun place to be for a person who likes to have a reason for everything. God help me.